Confusion About My Spirituality

Confusion About My Spirituality

Hey everybody, what’s up? I am a 21 12 months outdated man from Lebanon, at the moment dwelling within the US. I’ve all the time struggled with a definitive path for my spirituality since I used to be younger, and coming from a rustic with a bloody previous of sectarian violence and fixed struggle, I used to be afraid to deliver any of that up.

Half of my household is Greek Orthodox, the remainder are Maronite Catholic, so I come from a christian household. I do know a number of respectable muslims, and I appeared into that religion, however I actually did not suppose it was for me. My wrestle is between Christianity and a extra imprecise pagan-style spirituality. I grew up realizing and loving Christ, and nonetheless do. However I really feel like there may be extra to the non secular facet of the world, and I do know my ancestors the Phoenician/Canaanites knew it too.

One large concern I’ve is that the Outdated Testomony of the Bible options God commanding the Hebrews to genocide the Canaanites, my ancestors. So why would I participate in a faith that features a gigantic and detailed chapter concerning the bloodbath of my distant ancestors? I am additionally drawn to the concept of a Goddess determine or a number of goddesses. A scarcity of a feminine deity within the Bible all the time actually messed with me too.

5 thoughts on “Confusion About My Spirituality”

  1. You should look into any ancient and tribal history of your ancestors you can find, learn the names of their gods, visit their sacred places if you can, even on Google Earth. There is always knowledge out there to find, usually in the countryside and usually from old people :p

  2. Just chiming in to say that I’ve started labeling myself now as a Christian Witch, and I saw u/Omatnip99navE suggested it as something to look into.

    From what you’re saying, I tend to agree that Christian Witchcraft may suit your interests. This is a wide ranging scope (just like witchcraft in general) but I have found it contains a lot of solutions to the initial problems I had to Christianity (in my specific case). For me, it wasn’t something I was looking to get into. Mending that hurt came about somewhat by chance and with a great deal of time.

    If you want to look into Christian Witchcraft, I highly suggest starting off with the Kabbalah. Not sure if it will be welcomed by you, but Jewish Kabbalah specifically would offer you a more Christian themed Goddess figure. I’m not going to say ‘God had a wife’, but it is a definitive understanding of creation and ‘female’ energy within (in my opinion) misunderstood Christian concepts today.

    Also, the Kabbalah will help you to think of God in forms of aspects. This is helpful when dealing with being excluded or judged by the bible (or people) in the past. To be fair, my ancestors don’t really have the specific issues you are talking about. However, it is my hope that various aspects of God might help you to understand (not excuse) certain beliefs or overall concepts (just for the record genocide is never okay). I have found the bible to be extremely symbolic (and in my opinion) taken too literally today.

    Outside of the Kabbalah, I highly recommend absorbing the Gnostic texts. By this I mean just any ‘heretical’ text in general. Also, Midrash can be extremely intriguing in terms of the Old Testament. I’ve learned more from heretical sources than I ever could elsewhere to be honest. In many ways, it might be a comfort to you to know that pagan spirituality is something that is complex yes, but isn’t unheard of in Christian spheres too. It’s just, the likelihood of finding others who will talk about it is low. Even now, I’m very private in my personal life with other Christians.

    Hopefully this hasn’t been a long ramble to you. I hope this helps in some way, and I’m always willing to keep a dialog going (just so you know). All in all, I wish you the best.

  3. For me spirituality is not some product in an easy to recognize package that I can point at and say “That’s the one I believe in”. I am a mix of many different cultures who all have very different spiritual beliefs. I can honestly say that there is something in every spiritual path that I believe in. Religion will ask you to reject some of those ideas, but spirituality never will. If you want to be a Taoist Hare Krishna Zoroastrian Voodoo practitioner I really don’t see anything wrong with that.

  4. Hello and welcome!

    You could look into Christian witchcraft if you’re interested in blending pagan elements into the framework of your Christian faith, people from all around the world have been doing it for a long time. Your interest in Islam could be piqued by studying Sufism, the mystical tradition of Islam, just a thought. I’m neither a Christian nor a muslim so I couldn’t give you any in depth insight into the religions other than that those paths exist.

    Good luck to you

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